Thursday, September 5, 2013

2013 NFL Predictions - Because Jacksonville can still sign Tim Tebow and relocate to London


The 2013 NFL season is finally upon us. This season already promises to be better than the last if for no other reason than NBC finally got rid of that God awful theme song by Faith Hill for Sunday Night Football, replacing her with...Well, a crappier knockoff version of Faith Hill. 

Okay, NBC still sucks, but at least they don't have a pre-game show with some of the most forced unlikable personalities in all of football, and yes, I'm talking about you Boomer Esiason, Shannon Sharpe, Dan Marino and anyone else that CBS thinks would be a good idea to bring into their studio. 

The important thing is that we can all go to the sports bar where we can watch the games without any volume, which is slightly more exiting than listening to Joe Buck and Troy Aikman call a game for Fox. 

In any event, here are my predictions for the 2013 NFL season!

NFC
East
1. Washington: 10-6
Yes, I have questions about RG3's knee, but even if he is slightly less mobile this year, I still thought we was one of the best pocket passers that I ever saw coming out of college, and he did nothing last year to change my opinion. Where the Pigskins stand to gain the most is on defense with stud DE's Brian Orakpo and Ryan Kerrigan returning from injury.  

By the way, isn't it time for the Redskins to change their team name to one that isn't a racial slur? If the team would just change their name from the Redskins to the Pigskins, it would not only become less offensive, but they could continue to call themselves "The Skins." Throw in a hog related logo pay homage to their fans from their glory years in the 80's and early 90's and to generate merchandise sales, and I think we have a perfect solution. 

2. Dallas: 10-6
The Cowboys have greatly improved their offensive line by drafting C Jason Ferguson and luring G Brian Waters out of retirement...That is, assuming he has anything left in the tank. Tony Romo looks to be as in sync with his offense as at any point in his career, and Dez Bryant is destined to break out as a superstar. If Monte Kiffin's new defense can gel despite not having the ideal personnel for the front of his new 4-3 defense, Dallas could be the NFC's surprise team this year.

3. New York Giants: 9-7
This team is built more for the playoffs than the regular season...They just need to make sure they find a way to make it to the post season with what looks to be an aging and beat up offensive line. 

4. Philadelphia: 6-10
Chip Kelly's run first hurry up offense is an ideal fit for Michael Vick. The problem is that the quarterback for Chip Kelly's run first hurry up offense is Michael Vick. With a revamped offensive line, the Eagles should be able to run the ball with a deep corps of running backs, which should be their focus on offense to cut down on Vick's propensity to fumble or throw a "Vick six" to opposing defenses when he tries to do too much.

North
1. Green Bay: 11-5
Last year's top two draft picks Nick Perry and Jerel Worthy should return from injuries this year to provide much needed support rushing the passer at OLB and DE for Clay Mathews. Even with huge question at LT with Bryan Bulaga lost for the season, rookie running back Eddie Lacy should take some pressure off of all world QB Aaron Rogers and the offensive line. 

2. Detroit: 9-7
There was no important free agent signing this offseason than Detroit inking Reggie Bush. Even with Calvin Johnson facing man coverage while being bracketed by a linebacker and a safety on nearly every play, and facing gunner coverage from defenses in the red zone, Detroit's running backs couldn't take advantage of seeing the least number defenders in the box all season than any other team. Not only will Bush pull defenders away from Calvin Johnson, but he'll give Mathew Stafford a safety valve who can make big plays as a receiver out of the backfield that he hasn't had since Jahvid Best was forced to retire due to concussions. 

Throw in one of the best defensive lines in football and a secondary that hopes to upgrade to mediocre after drafting Darius Slay, as well as the return of Louis Delmas and the signing of Glover Quinn at S, and the Lions look to be in the mix to make the playoffs again. 




3. Chicago: 8-8
Marc Trestman brings his experience coaching in the CFL to Chicago, which may not be a bad thing considering that Jay Cutler throwing the ball on third down doesn't always work out so well. Actually, I'm not quite sure why Lovie Smith was fired, as the Bears problems on offense had more to do with talent than scheme, and their defense was one of the better ones in the NFL when it came to making big plays last season. 


In addition to his CFL background, new Chicago Bears coach Marc Trestman also has a law degree...I'm sure that will go along way with his locker room cred.

4. Minnesota: 5-11
Despite a plethora of high draft picks and free agent signings, I'm not sure that the Vikings will have anywhere close to the record they had last season. Even if Cordarelle Patterson is ready to replace Percy Harvin, I'm not convinced that Christian Ponder is a starting caliber NFL QB. On defense the Vikings have issues with their back seven, and that's not a good problem to have in the NFC North.

South
1. Atlanta: 11-5
While Atlanta really aired the ball out last season, look for them to balance things out this year with addition of RB Steven Jackson, especially in the red zone. Osi Umenyiora should be a nice replacement for John Abraham, although I am concerned about the depth in Atlanta's secondary, especially with New Orleans poised for a comeback year.

2. New Orleans: 10-6
Sean Peyton returns, which should bring stability back to the Saints offense. I'm also really liking the addition of rookie WR Kenny Stills, who should team up with veteran Marques Colston and the under appreciated Lance Moore to give Drew Brees one of the leagues best trios of WR's, not to mention TE super-stud Jimmy Graham. The big question is whether the Saints defense can produce, as they lack impact players at nearly every position except for safety.




 There's nothing better in football right now than Drew Brees and his pre-game chants.

3. Tampa Bay: 8-8 
The Buccaneers have been very aggressive in the offseason the last two years, but have very little to show for it on the field. Darrelle Revis should be a nice addition to the Buc's secondary in a pass happy division. On offense, Josh Freeman faces a make or break season with a full stable of receivers, a premier running back and what looks to be a strong and healthy offensive line for the first time in his career.

4. Carolina: 6-10
Why the Panthers have kept their backfield intact when they continue to get ten cents on the dollar return from DeAngelo Williams, Mike Tolbert and Jonathan Stewart is beyond me. One of these days the franchise might even use some of that money to find a quality receiver to play opposite of Steve Smith before he retires or gets a lifetime suspension for bludgeoning an opposing player (or maybe even a teammate) to death. 

West
1. San Francisco: 12-4
Can the 49ers overcome the loss of WR Michael Crabtree for the season? With Alex Smith? No. With Colin Kaepernick and the league's best defense? Yes. Amazingly, the 49ers not only dumped Smith, who was a disappointment as the #1 overall draft pick, but they somehow conned the Chiefs into giving them a First Round pick for him. That's the best trade in the NFL since the Lions fleeced the Cowboys out of a first round pick for Roy Williams. 

2. Seattle: 10-6
Seattle has a huge home field advantage plus the good fortune to play in a weak division. With Percy Harvin sidelined for eat least most of the season, the burden will be on Golden Tate to emerge and Sidney Rice to return to his former self to give Russell Wilson serviceable targets, because I'm thinking that Mike Williams has pretty much run out of chances. Fortunately, a strong defense and strong running game should make the Seahawks contenders even if their receivers don't pan out.

3. St. Louis: 7-9 
I love the Rams secondary, I like their defensive line, but I don't like their offensive line or receivers. I think by the end of the season Sam Bradford and the Rams will start to show some progress under new coach Jeff Fisher, but I'm thinking that a slow start to the season will be too much to overcome. 

4. Arizona: 6-10 
I'd like to say the Cardinals underrated defense will keep them in games, but Carson Palmer's propensity to throw the ball to the wrong team. While Carson Palmer may not help the Cardinals win many more games than they did last season, at least he'll help Larry Fitzgerald's fantasy stats.

NFC Wildcards: New Orleans and Seattle

NFC Conference Championship: Green Bay over San Francisco

                                                    AFC


East
1. New England: 11-5 
The Patriots may have one of their worst teams talent wise in years, but their record wont suffer much, if any, by virtue of being in the worst division in football. But at least Tom Brady is a man's man from Boston. 

Wait for it....



2. Miami: 7-9
A rookie campaign from Ryan Tannehill that failed to excite anyone gives Miami the second best quarterback situation in the AFC East...By far. In desperate need of a deep threat for their vertical passing game, the Dolphins overspent on WR Mike Wallace, who seems to be having a tough time getting adjusted to his new surroundings. Miami's defense does have a chance to be good, but it looks like they have too many other problems to overcome.

3. Buffalo: 6-10
The Bills took a big step in the right direction last offseason...Buddy Nix resigned as their GM. While E.J. Manuel seems like he could be the long term answer at QB for Bills, his missed time during the pre-season damaged any chances they had at being competitive this season, although I do look for them to finally turn the corner next year. 

4. New York Jets: 8-8
I've tried to be a Rex Ryan supporter, but bringing Marc Sanchez in to play the 4th quarter of a pre-season was one of the dumbest coaching decisions since Bobby Ross unsuccessfully had the Lions attempt a 2 point conversion while trailing by 4 points with 5:26 left in a game, only to lose when Detroit got the ball back and drove down the field, but was forced to score a touchdown instead of what would have been an easy game tying field goal. Fortunately for Rex Ryan, Sanchez got hurt before he could reclaim the Jets starting QB job. 


What's creepier than Rex Ryan's foot fetish video with his wife? How about the tattoo he got on his arm of his wife butt ass naked aside from a Marc Sanchez jersey!
The only tattoo creepier than Sexy Rexy's is this tat of a naked Native American riding a corn dog.

North
1. Cincinnati:10-6
The Bengals may not be great, but they're solid across the board, starting with a top notch defense. If Mohamed Sanu can step up as a playmaker opposite A.J. Green, this team could go from just making the playoffs, to contending  for a Super Bowl.   

2. Baltimore: 10-6
After winning the Super Bowl, the Ravens defense lost future Hall of Famers in Ray Lewis and Ed Reed. However, Elvis Dumervil will team with Terrell Suggs and Haloti Ngata to give the Ravens solid posts on the edges and interior of their defense, which may even wind up being better than they were last season. Ray Rice's demise is also highly exaggerated, and the Ravens will be right back in the mix to win the AFC again this season.

3. Pittsburgh: 9-7
The Steelers are aging rapidly on defense, while attempting to rebuild their running game and offensive line. While Ben Roethlisberger and the passing game can keep Pittsburgh competitive, the Steelers sorely need rookie RB Le'Veon Bell to return from a foot strain and establish a power running game.

4. Cleveland: 7-9
I look for TE Jordan Cameron to have a breakout season, as well as Josh Gordon at WR, at least once he returns from suspension. All in all, I like what the Browns are doing on defense, and if Barkevious Mingo doesn't die he could develop into a pretty nice outside pass rusher. With so many young pieces seemingly in place, the Browns badly need Brandon Weeden to step up his game this season, or else the franchise will be set back another 2-3 years as they go back to the well looking for yet another quarterback to develop. 

South

1. Houston: 11-5
With the Texans finally finding an outside receiver to compliment Andre Johnson in DeAndre Hopkins, Matt Schaub may be able to make defenses pay for stacking the line against Arian Foster if he can stop bitching about getting hit by Ndamukong Suh. 

I am a bit concerned that Andre Johnson has bulked up so much that he looks and plays more like a slot tight end, but if he can resemble his old self for just one year they might have something special in Houston this season, as their defense has the talent to help the Texans get to a Super Bowl. 

2. Indianapolis: 9-7 
The Colts had an emotional season last year where the team really rallied together. With Bruce Arians moving on from Colts offensive coordinator to head coach of the Cardinals, I expect a mild regression this year for Andrew Luck, but that doesn't mean that they won't find themselves in the playoff hunt.

3. Tennessee: 7-9
With Chris Johnson in camp and in shape all pre-season, the Titans should see their running game re-emerge, especially with the addition of guard Chance Warmack. If so, that would make things much easier on Jake Locker at QB. However, questions still remain at defensive end and in the secondary.  

4. Jacksonville: 4-12
Bad news, Blaine Gabbert is still the Jags quarterback. Good news, the Jaguars can still sign Tim Tebow and relocate to London.

West
1. Denver: 10-6
Peyton Manning has regained much of the arm strength that was lacking last season after spinal surgery, which is scary considering that the Broncos are giving him two extra targets in slot receiver Wes Welker and Julius Thomas, who has the athleticism and potential to become a big play TE. 

Unfortunately, Denver's front office was too busy getting arrested for DUI's to properly document re-signing key DE Elvis Dumervil with the league office, which caused him to become a free agent and served as a huge blow to the Broncos Super Bowl chances.
  
2. Kansas City: 8-8
Andy Reid called Alex Smith the best quarterback in football. Sadly, it appears that heroin addiction runs in his family. While Dwayne Bowe is promising a born again break-out season, I'm skeptical that Smith has the arm strength to get him the ball down field where he excels.




3. San Diego: 6-10 
While Antonio Gates is healthier and in better shape than he's been in years, Danario Alexander's season ending knee injury derailed any chance of Phil Rivers re-establishing himself as one of the NFL's top QB's. 

Fortunately, the Chargers are going to feature Ryan Mathews at RB this year to take the pressure off of the passing game. What was that you ask? That was the sound of Rivers saying, "Oh fuck!"

4. Oakland: 2-14
With no offensive line, no receivers, and a featured running back who can't stay healthy and runs like he's wearing speed skates, the Raiders might have one of the worst teams if NFL history. If Terrell Pryor can work some magic with his legs while mixing in some read option, the Raiders might overachieve and win a game or two.

AFC Wildcards: Baltimore and Pittsburgh

AFC Conference Championship:  Houston over New England

Super Bowl Prediction: Green Bay 31 - Houston 17


Monday, October 15, 2012

Benny Ricardo...I Hardly Knew Thee


I began following the Detroit Lions in 1980 at the age of eight.

That was the first year that I became aware of individual players aside from Roger Staubach and Lynn Dickey (the Packers were my parents' favorite team), or that there were teams in the NFL other than the Cowboys, Steelers or Packers.

As a kid growing up in mid-Michigan, where I was taught from an early age that "Channel 12 loves you," I was drawn to the prospect of a young and hip locally based team that was off to a surprising 4-0 start to the 1980 season.

And as an 8-year-old, a catchy rap version of Queen's Another One Bites the Dust that the team celebrated their victories to sure didn't hurt either.


Recorded by CB James "Spiderman" Allen, TE David Hill and CB Jimmy Hunter, the Detroit Lions rap version of Another One Bites the Dust was ahead of its time, coming out a full five years before the more popular Super Bowl Shuffle by "various artists" from the Chicago Bears.

The 1980 Lions also sported their vaunted "Silver Rush" defensive line, where Al "Bubba" Baker would still be the NFL record holder for single season sacks with 23, if only sacks were an official statistic in 1978.*

*Because apparently the NFL lacks the capability to go back and review old game film and retroactively record sacks as an official statistic....Fuck you Roger Goodell.

Throw in an electric rookie named Billy Sims, who went on to "karate kick" any defender who was foolish enough to get in his way to the end zone, and I was hooked....For better or for worse.


And in hindsight, it might have been "for worse."

Amazingly, since the time that I became a Lions fan, the team has only had two regular starting kickers. Eddie Murray, who took over for Benny Ricardo to start the 1980 season; and their incumbent kicker, Jason Hanson.

Oh, Benny Ricardo...I hardly knew thee.

Think about that for just a second...Over the past 32 years, the Detroit Lions have only had two fucking kickers! The only exceptions have been very brief injury fill-ins by Rich Karlis (in 1990), Remy Hamilton (in 2005) and Dave Rayner (in 2008 & 2010).

Since Jason Hanson took over the Lions full time kicking duties after inexplicably being drafted in the second round out of Washington State in 1992, he's gone on to set several NFL records including:
-Most field goals over 50 yards for a career;
-Most field goals over 50 yards for a season;
-Most games with one franchise;
-Most seasons with one franchise; and
-Most game winning field goals in overtime.
He's also the third all time NFL leading scorer, and with an 82.3% success rate, he's the 16th most accurate kicker in NFL history.

While his once powerful leg strengh on kickoffs has diminished now that he's reached the age of 42, Hanson still remains an integral part of the Lions team, having served as a team Captain since 2007.

Sure, the Lions could use a kicker with a stronger leg to take advantage of the new NFL rule where kickoffs are spotted at the 35-yard-line.

Sure, a strong legged kick-off man would be a precious commodity given the flaming bag of dog shit that the Lions special teams coverage units have been in 2012.

In fact, the Lions' special teams have been so bad that I can almost hear Toby Caston screaming in disgust from his grave, and I'm pretty sure that Stan Kwan keeps dropping off his resume at the team's facilities in Allen Park on a daily basis.

The Lions could go a different route and consider signing a punter who also has the ability to handle kickoffs...As it's not like the Lions menage a trois of punters over the past three seasons (Nick Harris, Ryan Donahue and Ben Graham) has done anything to make me hate soccer players any less.

Fucking soccer players...

However, what Jason Hanson lacks now in leg strength, he makes up for in dependability.

Case in point, this weekend when he kicked four field goals to help defeat the Eagles 26-23 for the Lions first road victory in Philadelphia since 1986. Ironically, Hanson was only 6 years away from taking over for Eddie Murray at that time.

Not only was Hanson kicking in a hostile environment this weekend, but the Fox broadcast booth of Darryl Johnson and Kenny Albert both noted how he had struggled with the swirling wind at Lincoln Financial Field in his pre-game warm-ups.

How did Hanson respond?

Not only did he make field goals from 46, 34, 19, and 45 yards in front of a hostile crowd, the last two of which with the added pressure of having the outcome of the game on the line, but all of his kicks were dead solid perfect.

Holy Jim Arnold sightings! Jason Hanson has been through a lot as a Lion over these last 22 years, and through no fault of his own...It's almost as if he's like one of the fans.

I know that Barry Sanders may be the most exciting player to watch in NFL history, but it's hard to argue that the skinny kicker that the Lions burned a 2nd Round draft pick on back in 1992 wasn't the best pick that the franchise ever made.

And after 22 record breaking seasons, he may even be the all-time face of the Lions franchise...For better or for worse.

And fuck you Mitch Albom...I stole your bit!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Megatron is Still My Homeboy

I love this t-shirt so much, not only did I buy one, but I decided to give the guys at 313's Finest a free link

The officials working the Detroit Lions - Chicago Bears game in week 1 of the NFL season broke the hearts and spirit of plenty of Lions fans when they took away Calvin Johnson's (a/k/a Megatron) go ahead touchdown with just 24 seconds left in the game.

Officials insisted that they made the correct call because Johnson did not maintain possession of the ball "throughout the process of the catch." Even though the national media overwhelmingly bought into that explanation, here's why I think the officials were wrong.

The 2009 NFL rulebook addressing player possession in Article 7 reads:

"A player is in possession when he is in firm grip and control of the ball inbounds. To gain possession of a loose ball (a live ball not in possession of any player) that has been caught, intercepted or recovered, a player must have complete control of the ball and have both feet completely on the ground inbounds or any other part of his body, other than his hands, on the ground inbounds. If the player loses the ball while simultaneously touching both feet or any other part of his body to the ground or if there is any doubt that the acts were simultaneous, there is no possession. This rule applies to the field of play and in the end zone."

Note 1 on Article 7 says that:

"A player who goes to the ground in the process of attempting to secure possession of a loose ball (with or without contact by a defender) must maintain control of the ball after he touches the ground, whether in the field of play or the end zone. If he loses control of the ball, and the ball touches the ground before he regains control, there is no possession. If he regains control prior to the ball touching the ground, it is a catch, interception or recovery."
The explanation that Johnson did not maintain control of the ball throughout the process of the catch provided by the officials is based upon the erroneous assumption that Johnson did not have possession of the football before he fell.

If you go back and watch the clip again, the ball was tight and secure in Johnson's hands as he established two feet on the ground. He did not go to the ground until he engaged in a football move by twisting and lunging forward.

My friends, tight ball control and two feet on the ground is possession by definition.

If Johnson had possession BEFORE he fell, which he clearly did, then Note 1 on Article 7, a/k/a the "in the process" provision, shouldn't even be a consideration.



Johnson's "catch" against the Bears was not the same scenario as a receiver who goes to the ground while dragging his feet or dives as he is in the process of securing possession of a pass, which is what I think Note 1 for Article 7 is referring to when it states that a player "must maintain control of the ball after he touches the ground."

Johnson established possession by having "a firm grip and control of the ball" while touching "both feet completely on the ground inbounds" and taking another twisting hop step as he fell to the ground.

The only possible question of possession did not arise until after he hit the ground (but still maintained a tight grip), when he relinquished control of the ball as he rolled to an upright position in celebration of what he thought was a game winning score.

The officials who worked the Detroit - Chicago game continue to maintain that they got this call correct because Johnson did not "complete the entire process of the catch" by being able to hand the ball to the referee.

Yet by their reasoning, the play would have still resulted in an incompletion had Johnson brought the ball down, established two feet in the field of play, done 5 log rolls as he fell to the ground, then lost the ball on his sixth roll because he did not maintain control "throughout the process of the catch."

NFL lackey Mike Pereira and the national media keep telling me that I need to be upset with the NFL rule and not the game officials if I don't like the outcome of this game.

I disagree. I think the rule is fine, I just think that the game officials completely misapplied it to the circumstances of this game.

Calvin Johnson had possession of the football by the NFL's own definintion before he ever fell to the ground. Even when he did fall to the ground, he did not lose control of the ball while "simultaneously touching both feet or any other part of his body to the ground," as he reliquished the ball much later.

As a Lions fan, I would instinctually punch Mike Pereira in the face if I ever saw him walking down the street.

The officiating crew and the NFL talking heads both got this one wrong. Note 1 on Article 7 of the NFL rulebook (the notorious "in the process provison") should have never even have been in the discussion.

Now, if only we could go back to the glory days when officials actually respected the Lions:

(Sometimes I-I-I, I still see him when I sleep...and I don't, I don't sleep that much)