Monday, October 28, 2013

Decepticonned! Mathew Stafford's spike, Megatron help the Lions shock the Cowboys

Just when I thought that the curse of Bobby Carpenter had doomed the Lions to their second home defeat in two games with Sean Lee picking off two Mathew Stafford passes and nearly returning one of them for a touchdown, something happened.

I still don't know what it was, but something definitely happened. In fact, I heard myself asking out loud in disbelief, "How the Hell did THAT just happen?"

While Calvin Johnson had 329 receiving yards and one touchdown (nearly three), set the record for the most receiving yards in NFL history for a non-overtime game, he still arguably had his worst game as a Lion with a fumble and a dropped pass that deflected into the hands of a defender for a key interception.

The Lions had four turnovers, making them only the second team out of 55 in NFL history to overcome a minus four takeaway deficit.

The Lions slumping defensive line only managed to sack Tony Romo one time even though he holds on to the ball longer than an Ohio State fan holds on to a bitchin' pair of jean shorts from his college days at Northern Ohio University in "beautiful" Ada, Ohio.

But Mathew Stafford still had 50 seconds left on the clock to cover 80 yards to overcome a six point deficit and salvage the Lions day, and possibly their season.

Conceding defeat and attempting to get a jump on traffic, many of their fans had already left Ford Field. Included amongst those who did was Detroit Pistons forward Charlie Villanueva.

Sadly, that was the first time in a long time that Charlie managed to get out of his seat in what turned out to be a Detroit victory.

However, after completing two key long passes to Kris Durham and Calvin Johnson, Stafford improbably had the Lions at the 1-yard line with just under 20 seconds left in the game.

And somewhere between Megatron's final reception and the next snap, Stafford made the improbable decision to go "Sarah Palin."

As he instructed his teammates to line up to spike the ball and kill the clock, Stafford went rogue and ran a QB sneak that even his teammates didn't know was coming.

Along with Megatron's record breaking day, Mathew Stafford's "Decepticon" fake spike helped the Lions stun the Cowboys.

Fortunately it worked, as the Dallas defense was caught flat footed as Dez Bryant, Tony Romo and Jason Witten debated about who had the lowest Wonderlic score on the Cowboy sideline.

Meanwhile, Megatron ended any debate as to who the best receiver in the NFL is. But unlike Dez Bryant, he didn't even want to talk about it.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Know the Rules, Schwartz!

Just before their infamous handshake in 2011, Jim Schwartz screamed "Know the rules, Harbaugh!" after 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh received a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for challenging a Brandon Pettigrew touchdown catch, which of course was not challengeable since all scoring plays are automatically reviewed.

Jim Schwartz has had his own problems when it comes to knowing the NFL Rules.

Earlier that season Schwartz was heard yelling, "Hey, learn the fucking rules!" at the officials when they conferred about whether Minnesota should be granted another possession after the Lions kicked a game winning field goal in overtime in light of the NFL's newly implemented rule which granted the receiving team an extra possession if the receiving team only kicked a field goal on their first drive.

Apparently Karma's a bitch.

On Thanksgiving day 2012 the entire nation watched the Lions lose to the Houston Texans 34-31 in overtime, largely because Schwartz prevented an automatic booth replay on a 81-yard Justin Forsett TD run after he was clearly tackled on his own 25-yard line because he improperly threw a challenge flag.

Then on Sunday, Schwartz failed to challenge an illegal forward lateral following a blocked field goal attempt that gave the Cincinnati Bengals an extra 15-yards, helping them score a touchdown just prior to the end of the first half.

After the game, Schwartz indicated that he wanted to challenge the lateral, but was told by an official that he could not because "that didn't matter on a blocked kick," so he decided not to...You know, because you should definitely ask the official who already botched the call his opinion about getting it corrected.

Schwartz justified his decision not to challenge the play by saying he didn't want to risk a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for throwing the flag on a play that was not challengeable. Here's the deal. The refs were wrong, and it's Schwartz's job to know the rules and use his challenges when the refs screw up.

Clearly the official was making reference to a forward batted fumble recovery on a return, while Schwartz was talking about the lateral. Had Schwartz been more confident in his understanding of the rules, he would have gone through with the challenge and possibly save the Lions four (if they held the Bengals to a FG) or even seven points in what turned out to be a three point loss.

Quite frankly, Schwartz arrogance about "knowing the rules" when botching them himself makes him look like an ass...Kind of like the guy on the Internet who calls somebody's post out thinking that he's the Grammar Police while making a spelling mistake of his own at the same time.

Worse yet, Schwartz has now cost the Lions two games over the course of two years in the process...And people in Philadelphia thought that Andy Reid was bad at managing his challenge flags.

Let's just hope that karma doesn't extend incomplete passes as well as the Lions try to hold Dez Bryant and the Dallas Cowboys in check.


And for those of you who can't read lips he said, "INCOMPLETE YOU MOTHER FUCKER!"

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Pro-Bowling for Lions

Even after a disappointing loss to the Cincinnati Bengals dropped the Detroit Lions to 4-3, they are still in position to not only make the playoffs, but to send one of their largest contingencies to the NFL Pro Bowl.

Helped by three of their newest additions (Reggie Bush, Larry Warford and Glover Quin), as well as the return of a key player from injury (Louis Delmas), the Lions could be in position to send up to seven players to Honolulu to get back in touch with their roots.

I know, I know...The NFL has revised the Pro Bowl this year, where players will be voted upon regardless of conference, with two fantasy football champions joining the "fun" to help draft the actual teams school yard style.

First of all, if your the most popular sport in America and your looking to Gary Bettman and the NHL for ways to improve your All-Star game, you've got more problems than can be solved with all of Ndamukong Suh's fine money for an entire season.

Secondly, I'm ignoring these format changes and pretending that the Pro Bowl is going to be played as it always has...In Hawaii, with actual soccer players kicking off the ball, and halves, not quarters, that end with two minute warnings and teams alternating possessions.

Did I mention that Roger Goodell can suck it? Anyway, here's a look at how the 2013 Detroit Lions might fare in a traditional Pro Bowl selection process.  

Quarterback - This is the year Mathew Stafford should not only finally make the Pro Bowl, but cement himself as one of the league's top quarterbacks. With three active roster spots, Drew Brees is a lock, while Tony Romo looks like the next best bet as of right now, but there's no telling if and when he'll suffer a melt down. That leaves Stafford fighting for the final active spot with Green Bay's Aaron Rodgers, and right now Stafford is having the better season. At the very least Stafford should be a Pro Bowl alternative.

Receivers - Now that Titus Young is out of the league, Calvin Johnson is the best receiver in football.

In Nike's new "Calvin and Johnson" ad campaign, Sean Combs gets all of the notoriety, while Calvin Johnson does all of the work...At least Puff Daddy finally found a replacement for Biggie Smalls.

Running Back - With only three active roster spots, Reggie Bush is likely on the bubble. Adrian Peterson and Marshawn Lynch look to return to Honolulu, while Bush, Matt Forte and Frank Gore are all fighting for the third and final spot. If he can stay healthy, Bush should be squarely in the mix.

Offensive Line - Don't look now, but Larry Warford might be positioning himself for Pro Bowl appearance as a rookie third round draft pick, If he wasn't already under consideration as an alternate or as the final reserve behind Mike Iupati and Jahri Evans before this week, his strong performance against Geno Atkins and Cincinnati's stout defensive line should grab some attention.

Defensive Line - Ndamukong Suh is the best interior defensive lineman in football. His statistics don't reflect the 3 interceptions that he caused by forcing opposing quarterbacks to throw the ball up for grabs for fear of having their body parts mailed to the NFL league offices c/o Roger Goodell and Merton Hanks. Unfortunately, the rest of the Lions ultra talented defensive line has underperformed, and what should have been at least two Pro Bowl players from their over-hyped line will likely be limited to only Suh.

Linebackers - DeAndre Levy's transformation from a liability to a play maker is one of the better success stories for the Lions this year. With Clay Mathews and DeMarcus Ware injured, and Aldon Smith trying to figure out whether he'll be spending his offseason in rehab or Federal prison, Levy deserves to be a Pro Bowl starter this year.    

Defensive Backs - Chris Houston is adequate, but hardly Pro Bowl material as evidenced by his rough game trying to cover Bengal receiver A.J. Green. With two interceptions and a fumble recovery already, Glover Quin deserves strong consideration at strong safety, while Louis Delmas is probably on the bubble to be a Pro Bowl alternate at the free safety position.

Special Teams - Sam Martin kicked his way out of Pro Bowl contention by shanking his final punt of the game against Cincinnati. Quite simply, you cannot go to the Pro Bowl as a soccer player when you are almost single handedly responsible for your team losing a game, no matter how big of a weapon you had been the rest of the season.


-Starters (3): Calvin Johnson, Ndamukong Suh, DeAndre Levy
-Reserves (2): Larry Warford, Glover Quin
-Alternates (2): Mathew Stafford, Reggie Bush

Thursday, October 3, 2013

The Lions need a run stuffing DE to replace Jason Jones

After a win at home against the Chicago Bears, the Lions are the feel good story of the NFC North as they stand in first place at 3-1.

And while the Lions have been relatively injury free, we shouldn't discount the loss of DE Jason Jones for the rest of the season.

More of a true end in a 3-4 defense, Jones would not seem to be a fit in most 4-3 defenses, where he would be viewed on paper as either a rush DT or a base DE, depending on the situation or scheme.

However, in Detroit, Jones was a perfect fit for the Lions 4-3 defense as a base or boundary DE, something that the Lions were sorely lacking last season as they were constantly exploited against the run due to their aggressive defensive tackles and undersized defensive ends.

While Jones showed the ability to get to the passer in the pre-season, his real value with the Lions was in sealing off the edge and stopping the run, and through the first two weeks of the season, that's exactly what he did, at least until he was lost for the season due to injury. 

After the season injury to Jones, the Lions moved Willie Young moved to starter at RDE. And while Young has shown the ability to rush the QB on passing downs, he's proven to be a liability on running downs.

And while the Lions got away with Young's mistakes against Chicago, his inability to play the run is going to be an ongoing issue unless Detroit can find a base end to spell Young in non passing situations.

Perhaps former Lions DE Lawrence Jackson, who was cut by Minnesota after being lured away from Detroit as a free agent, is the answer.

But to date, the Lions have shown little interest in Lo-Jax, even though he graded out higher than any of their other defensive ends against the run last season.