Decepticonned! Mathew Stafford's spike, Megatron help the Lions shock the Cowboys

Just when I thought that the curse of Bobby Carpenter had doomed the Lions to their second home defeat in two games with Sean Lee picking off two Mathew Stafford passes and nearly returning one of them for a touchdown, something happened.

I still don't know what it was, but something definitely happened. In fact, I heard myself asking out loud in disbelief, "How the Hell did THAT just happen?"

While Calvin Johnson had 329 receiving yards and one touchdown (nearly three), set the record for the most receiving yards in NFL history for a non-overtime game, he still arguably had his worst game as a Lion with a fumble and a dropped pass that deflected into the hands of a defender for a key interception.

The Lions had four turnovers, making them only the second team out of 55 in NFL history to overcome a minus four takeaway deficit.

The Lions slumping defensive line only managed to sack Tony Romo one time even though he holds on to the ball longer than an Ohio State fan holds on to a bitchin' pair of jean shorts from his college days at Northern Ohio University in "beautiful" Ada, Ohio.

But Mathew Stafford still had 50 seconds left on the clock to cover 80 yards to overcome a six point deficit and salvage the Lions day, and possibly their season.

Conceding defeat and attempting to get a jump on traffic, many of their fans had already left Ford Field. Included amongst those who did was Detroit Pistons forward Charlie Villanueva.

Sadly, that was the first time in a long time that Charlie managed to get out of his seat in what turned out to be a Detroit victory.

However, after completing two key long passes to Kris Durham and Calvin Johnson, Stafford improbably had the Lions at the 1-yard line with just under 20 seconds left in the game.

And somewhere between Megatron's final reception and the next snap, Stafford made the improbable decision to go "Sarah Palin."

As he instructed his teammates to line up to spike the ball and kill the clock, Stafford went rogue and ran a QB sneak that even his teammates didn't know was coming.

Along with Megatron's record breaking day, Mathew Stafford's "Decepticon" fake spike helped the Lions stun the Cowboys.

Fortunately it worked, as the Dallas defense was caught flat footed as Dez Bryant, Tony Romo and Jason Witten debated about who had the lowest Wonderlic score on the Cowboy sideline.

Meanwhile, Megatron ended any debate as to who the best receiver in the NFL is. But unlike Dez Bryant, he didn't even want to talk about it.

Know the Rules, Schwartz!

Just before their infamous handshake in 2011, Jim Schwartz screamed "Know the rules, Harbaugh!" after 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh received a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for challenging a Brandon Pettigrew touchdown catch, which of course was not challengeable since all scoring plays are automatically reviewed.

Jim Schwartz has had his own problems when it comes to knowing the NFL Rules.

Earlier that season Schwartz was heard yelling, "Hey, learn the fucking rules!" at the officials when they conferred about whether Minnesota should be granted another possession after the Lions kicked a game winning field goal in overtime in light of the NFL's newly implemented rule which granted the receiving team an extra possession if the receiving team only kicked a field goal on their first drive.

Apparently Karma's a bitch.

On Thanksgiving day 2012 the entire nation watched the Lions lose to the Houston Texans 34-31 in overtime, largely because Schwartz prevented an automatic booth replay on a 81-yard Justin Forsett TD run after he was clearly tackled on his own 25-yard line because he improperly threw a challenge flag.

Then on Sunday, Schwartz failed to challenge an illegal forward lateral following a blocked field goal attempt that gave the Cincinnati Bengals an extra 15-yards, helping them score a touchdown just prior to the end of the first half.

After the game, Schwartz indicated that he wanted to challenge the lateral, but was told by an official that he could not because "that didn't matter on a blocked kick," so he decided not to...You know, because you should definitely ask the official who already botched the call his opinion about getting it corrected.

Schwartz justified his decision not to challenge the play by saying he didn't want to risk a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for throwing the flag on a play that was not challengeable. Here's the deal. The refs were wrong, and it's Schwartz's job to know the rules and use his challenges when the refs screw up.

Clearly the official was making reference to a forward batted fumble recovery on a return, while Schwartz was talking about the lateral. Had Schwartz been more confident in his understanding of the rules, he would have gone through with the challenge and possibly save the Lions four (if they held the Bengals to a FG) or even seven points in what turned out to be a three point loss.

Quite frankly, Schwartz arrogance about "knowing the rules" when botching them himself makes him look like an ass...Kind of like the guy on the Internet who calls somebody's post out thinking that he's the Grammar Police while making a spelling mistake of his own at the same time.

Worse yet, Schwartz has now cost the Lions two games over the course of two years in the process...And people in Philadelphia thought that Andy Reid was bad at managing his challenge flags.

Let's just hope that karma doesn't extend incomplete passes as well as the Lions try to hold Dez Bryant and the Dallas Cowboys in check.

 

And for those of you who can't read lips he said, "INCOMPLETE YOU MOTHER FUCKER!"